As Gabriel stood staring at his best friends tombstone, he was so ashamed of himself. Not just because he felt like there must have been something that he could have done to prevent his cronies death, but because he felt jealous of his now past friend. Everyday he visited Troy’s grave site and just stared down, pondering how much easier it must be to not live the monotonous rat race day after day. No more pain, no more deep sadness that the young man carried throughout his days. He was free.
Gabriel knew that death was supposed to be a very sad affair, he knew it wasn’t right to be so envious of something that was assumed to be the worst thing every human must go through. While he did fear death, it felt like a relaxing thought for someone to close their eyes and drift away for the last time. Gabriel knew that Troy had been struggling with so much, addiction, self loathing, trying to get any ounce of his life together. He hoped that his truest friend had found some peace, that all of the negative and captive thoughts were gone, and the gripping, unrelenting feelings of hurt and paranoia were gone forever, that he may find some small increment of happiness. Who could know anyway?
The tired, bogged down man adjusted his hat, and watched the leaves slowly fall to the ground, and rested softly on the headstone. Life is so weird he thought to himself quietly as he slowly began to make his way home. He had promised upon Troy’s death that he would finish his best friends project for him, he wanted to build a new community center for troubled youth to hang out after school. Troy wanted younger kids to find the help they needed much earlier in life, so that they would never have to feel the way that he had felt all his life, and struggled to overcome. A small tear managed to work it’s way down Gabriel’s cheek as he knew that Troy would never overcome. It had got the very best of him, and he could not stand to watch it happen to anymore people, especially to those who were so young.